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on feeling better as things get worse…

Posted by ghostlizard on June 8, 2012
Posted in: Bipolar Disorder, depression, Income Inequality, Poverty, suicide. Tagged: antidepressants, Bipolar Disorder, Developmental disability, Disability, Major depressive disorder, Mania. Leave a comment
First $2 bill issued in 1862 as a Legal Tender...

First $2 bill issued in 1862 as a Legal Tender Note (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The last six months have been one crisis after another, none of which are over yet. I live day to day and hand to mouth to bowl (toilet, that is) pretty much. The lights are only on until the 18th and I have no prospective income to pay the bill. My severely mentally disabled roommate is of great moral support, a valuable commodity I have yet to be able to use as legal tender, unfortunately.

But, somehow, in my head things are looking up. I just know the money will come (and of course it probably won’t) and that I’ll be able to find a place for the two of us that includes utilities and  I can afford on SSI in time. That deadline is July 1st. Is it only the medication? Is it the beginnings of a manic episode? Stay tuned. I’ll take pictures for you, wherever appropriately lurid. God bless everybody (metaphorically speaking, of course),

English: A sustainable 46-unit mentally disabl...

English: A sustainable 46-unit mentally disabled housing project in Santa Monica. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

… and make it the best weekend of your life!

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  • Bipolar Disorder and Decision Making (everydayhealth.com)
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Your Inbox: Occupied – OWS Updates for the Week of June 6

Posted by ghostlizard on June 7, 2012
Posted in: Corruption, Corruption in Washington, depression, Homelessness, Income Inequality, Occupy Movement, Poverty, suicide, The Death of Main Street. Leave a comment

Your inbox: OCCUPIED. News and calls to action from #OccupyWallStreet in NYC for the week of June 6
OWS is in constant motion, which is why it is so valuable to stop sometimes and savor our victories. This is a particularly fruitful time to do just that:

  • After a 4 month-long public campaign, our comrades at Hot & Crusty on 63rd street have voted to start a union and move forward with a lawsuit seeking damages.
  • We also scored a significant legal victory for damages over retaliation against workers and a large federal lawsuit over unpaid minimum wage and overtime at Flaum Appetizing, a Brooklyn food manufacturer.
  • And one of OWS’s longest running solidarity campaign has achieved victory, with Teamsters Local 814 going back to work after winning a new contract with Sotheby’s art auction house!

And have we mentioned that even Governor Cuomo is pushing to reform ‘stop-and-frisk’?
All our grievances are indeed connected, making these victories for the 99% at large! Enjoy them.

Occupy These Upcoming Events

Wednesday, June 6th, 530pm
March To Call on the SEC to Investigate Jamie Dimon
Liberty Plaza
On the anniversary of the founding of the SEC, Occupy the SEC and Alternative Banking are holding a march calling on the SEC to investigate Jamie Dimon, Chairman and CEO of JP Morgan Chase, under Sarbanes-Oxley and refer the case the the Department of Justice for prosecution.
Wednesday, June 6, 8pm
Casseroles Night in Canada – in NYC! Part 2
Washington Square Park
Starting at 8PM, people all over are showing solidarity with the Quebec student strike and the popular uprising in Quebec against Law 78 and the Charest government by banging pots and pans everywhere! This Casseroles Night will be bigger, louder, and rowdier than previous versions we have held. Performances from The People’s Staged will begin at 6PM and will join the Casseroles’ march at 8PM helping to produce the needed momentum for an American fight over student debt in the Fall.
Thursday, June 7, 11am
Forgive Us Our Trespass – Speak Truth to Power
Liberty Square
This is a public witness to remind all land-rich religious institutions that their faith calls their loyalty to those among God’s people who are at the losing end of economic disparity, not to the powerful 1% or to their own self-interest. Chris Hedges and Fr. Daniel Berrigan will speak in relation to the upcoming jury trial of Bishop George Packard and others. Occupy Catholics will hold a planning meeting for further pre-trial actions following this event..
Friday, June 9, 630pm
Race, Gender, Power and Privilege at Occupy Wall Street
Liberty Plaza
No one will deny that racism exists in our society, but what’s not so clear is the depth of its presence within the Occupy Wall Street Movement. Everything from the lack of diversity in this movement to the framing of questions, structures and culture has often been called into question by De-colonization Movement as well as neighborhood GAs within New York City. Join us in discussing actionable plans to address these issues and move forward as a movement.

Saturday, June 10, All Day
Body Autonomy Bike Rides
see event listing for location information

The OWS Bike Coalition invites you to a joyous and liberating protest calling for the State, Police, and the Church to keep their hands off our bodies. The ride takes place in solidarity with the World Naked Bike Ride. Feel free to come as dressed or bare as you dare. Creative costuming is also highly encouraged.

Saturday, June 10, 5pm
Student and Youth Assembly – How do we form a cohesive student movement for the fall?
60 Wall Street
What issues are facing NYC students that would get them mobilized in the Fall? What sort of tactics would be best utilized in a student movement? What are the end goals for this movement? All this will be discussed at the first official citywide organizational meeting hosted by NYC Infinite Strike Marches.
Sunday, June 10, noon
Debt and Education: Building a Political Movement
Washington Square Park
Last week the Free University, Occupy Student Debt Campaign, and Occupy Theory hosted an Assembly, entitled “Debt and Education: Building a Political Movement.” We will be continuing the discussion this Sunday focusing on exploring next steps in making debt and debt strike a central piece of a political movement. You can read our notes on our first assembly here: http://bit.ly/KL5LeD.
Sunday, June 10, 3pm
NYC Debtor’s Assembly
Washington Square Park
This will be the first in a regular series of Debtors Assemblies this summer. We invite you to come and connect with others struggling with debt and debt-related issues. Share your experience, learn about the history of debt and debt struggles, and be part of the making of a Debtor’s Resistance Movement!
Sunday, June 10, 7pm
Forgive Us Our Trespass – Praying Truth to Power
Duarte Square, Canal Street and 6th Avenue
Vesper service the night before the jury trial of Bishop George Packard and others. We ask Rev. Cooper and Trinity Church to listen to the Gospel mandate of forgiveness, to drop all charges against those who trespassed on the lot at 6th and Canal, and reconsider use of the empty lot.
Sunday, June 10th, 7pm
OWS Arts Cluster
The Commons, 388 Atlantic Avenue, Brooklyn
Join us for this opportunity to share information, resources, grievances and sympathies among the creative community of OWS and help strengthen all of our participation in the huge work at hand. The last cluster was attended by members of 20+ creative projects from the occupy universe, as well as OWS sympathetic creative who wanted to get plugged in.

Save the Dates

  • June 16 – People’s Summit in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil – NYC Solidarity Rally
  • June 16 – Occupy Town Square: Staten Island
  • June 17 – Stop Stop-and-Frisk: Silent March Against Racial Profiling
  • June 18 – 2nd Feminist General Assembly
  • June 22 – Student Debt Day of Action
  • September 17 – Black Monday – OWS One-Year Anniversary

This Week’s Featured Occu-Project

Occupy The SEC
Occupy the SEC submitted a 325 page letter to the SEC, FDIC, the Federal Reserve and the OCC, to comment on the notice of proposed rulemaking for the Volcker Rule. In our comment letter, we answered 244 out of 395 questions asked by the Agencies.
The Agencies involved in the Volcker rulemaking process have an historic opportunity to redress many of the economic wrongs of the past, and create a future that privileges the interests of the many rather than the few. We ask that the Agencies vigorously implement the considerable responsibilities that have been discharged to them by Congress, remain faithful to the statute’s intent and consider the comments contained in this letter.
Want to get involved? You can co-sign the letter by signing this petition on change.org, and sign up for the Occupy The SEC mailing list. Questions? Want to reach us? Email occupythesec (at) gmail (dot) com.

Connect. Collaborate. Contribute.

Every Wednesday, 4pm
The People’s Gong
This Wednesday, and every Wednesday thereafter, we call on all people to join Occupy Wall Street in ringing the People’s Gong on Wall Street. We invite all working groups to re-connect and re-occupy Liberty Park with us.

  • 4pm: Meet at Federal Hall, mic check, and ring the gong.
  • 5:30pm: Return to Liberty Plaza to debrief and work on projects across OWS. This week’s Direct Action meeting will focus on planning for Black Monday (September 17 2012).
  • 7:30pm: Report-back circle.

Saturday June 9, 12pm
Summer Disobedience School
Bryant Park, 42nd Street and 6th Avenue
The OWS Direct Action Group is launching Summer Disobedience School. We’ve completed Spring Training – and we’re moving and communicating in the streets like never before.

  • Noon: Trainings and actions around Midtown.
  • 2pm: Mic check in Times Square.
  • 3pm: Action Debrief, planning for next week, Occu-U classes and group meetings.
  • 4pm: Occupy Theory Assemblies. This week’s theme: Silence = Debt / Debt Strike

Read more about our curriculum, download a workbook, and join the fun all summer long!
Daily #OccupyUnionSq Info Table, 9am – 9pm
@OWSUnionSquare
Every day Occupy Union Square has an info table open and staffed, acting as a hub to promote the constant flurry of events and meetings occurring in the park and across OWS. Click here to find out how you can help out with immediate needs of the Union Square occupiers to keep it running and growing.
Help Keep the Newsletters coming…
The OWS Newsletter team is currently in need of new people who can help research and collect event details according to the process established as documented on our wiki. Any OWS activist can join the Newsletter team by participating in our meetings and carrying out production tasks. Please email us at newsletter (at) occupywallstreet (dot) net to plug in.
For Text Message alerts on your cellphone about daily events, actions, and important information, sign up for the ComHub SMS blasts by texting @owscom to 23559.


Subscribe Forward to a Friend Donate to OWS We are sending this to you because of your ongoing support and participation in Occupy Wall Street, which you expressed when you gave us your email at an Occupy event or registered on NYCGA.net.
This newsletter includes a partial listing of events related to the Occupy Movement in New York City. Please find full meeting listings and group information online at NYCGA.net/events – or if you are organizing an OWS event, post it there! The newsletter team can be contacted at newsletter@occupywallstreet.net, but we prefer to pull events from the NYCGA.net calendar.
You are subscribed to the group OWS Newsletter Recipients using the email .
Unsubscribe from mailings on this topic.
See all our public mailing lists and subscribe to the ones you’re interested in.

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on day’s breaking…

Posted by ghostlizard on June 4, 2012
Posted in: Bipolar Disorder, Crohn's Disease, depression, Income Inequality, Poverty, suicide. Tagged: Depression. Leave a comment

Medication can be a beautiful thing. Whether it’s mostly placebo effect or not, the  ability of a pill to change our worldview is almost magical – or, at least, it would be if we didn’t think we knew how it worked. We don’t, of course, know exactly how any of the antidepressants actually make it easier for people crippled by despair to function with the same normal ups and downs the un-afflicted have. Whatever. All I know is that when I got to 200 mg./day Pristiq started working for me. I feel as though I’ve missed the last four months completely, but the next four should be good. I finally couldn’t settle my differences with the electric company, so I have to move (hopefully it won’t be far; I just started getting to know my neighbors and they’re actually pretty cool!), and that sucks. My last month’s rent is my deposit, so I don’t have a deposit to move with, and my check on the 1st will have to be my  month’s rent.  I’ll have to pay off the deposit slowly at the new place; that sucks, too. Truth is, if it wasn’t for Alex I’d be terrified right now, but I keep telling myself at least I’m not alone, you know? For now, that and the pills is enough. Please cross your fingers for us, and now go be happy.

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on unlikely blessings…

Posted by ghostlizard on April 23, 2012
Posted in: Bipolar Disorder, depression, Income Inequality, Poverty. Tagged: Backgammon, Bentley, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Gucci, Major depressive disorder, Mental Health, Poverty. 1 Comment

 

Melencolia I. Print of Albrecht Dürer

Melencolia I. Print of Albrecht Dürer (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

1997 Bentley Brooklands R Mulliner Photographe...

1997 Bentley Brooklands R Mulliner Photographed by Jagvar at the Rolls-Royce Owners' Club's national meet in Darien, Connecticut on July 30, 2005. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Holiday-Depression-2010

Holiday-Depression-2010 (Photo credit: Hallicious)

 

Whew!

Whew! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Whew! I can’t believe it, but the electricity is still on…FPL actually gave us until May 7th, which should be more than time enough to get a commitment from LIHEAP to cover it. I’ve had all these insistent, persistent alarm bells going off in my head since January; could they have caused the sudden worsening of my depression that started around that time?

Probably not. The brain is weird. Whatever it feels it tries to explain, usually blaming external factors…in other words: usually the brain is wrong. We attribute our emotions to the actions of others, to the actions of supernatural agents (‘God,” etc.), or even to imaginary forces like ‘luck’ or ‘fate.’ For the Bipolar person, mood changes are almost completely unrelated to the outside world. That said, does hardship, economic and otherwise, make the depressed person feel even worse?

Well…yeah, of course it does. A member of the Gucci clan  was quoted in an interview saying that she “would rather cry in a Rolls Royce than laugh on a bicycle”. An Italian court later had her committed against her will to a psych ward, where she was said to enjoy crying at meals and laughing during games of Backgammon. (Okay, not really, but the quote was accurate, and it leads to my point. The depressed person will always have something or someone –  imaginary or not –  to project that sadness onto : whether in a Bentley, or on a bike, we’re equally miserable.)

Still, I have to wonder: would I be any less depressed if I weren’t a complete failure with no future, or do I feel like a complete failure with no future because I’m depressed?

Could it be both?

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on coming out of the dark…slowly

Posted by ghostlizard on April 22, 2012
Posted in: Bipolar Disorder, Bullying, Corruption in Washington, Crohn's Disease, depression, Income Inequality, Poverty, suicide. Tagged: medicine, Mental Health, placebo effect, singer whitney houston, Suicide. 2 Comments

 

The Waiting Room / Melancholia Tableau

The Waiting Room / Melancholia Tableau (Photo credit: Topeka & Shawnee County Public Library)

                                                                                                

  I have been more and more depressed over the course of the last few months. After I attempted to pull a ‘Whitney’ (the morbid and so-soon-it’s-just-plain-wrong new street name for the combination of Xanax and Alcohol originally reported to have killed the beautiful and tragic late singer Whitney Houston…as if you didn’t know) on last Sunday, my roomie had me “Baker Acted” ( I think it’s just a Florida thing), and I finally changed one of my meds from Wellbutrin SR to Pristiq. I feel better already, even though I know it’s just a placebo effect since these things take time to kick in. I hope the improvements continue, in which case I will return to this blog thingie more regularly…as before. Until then, if you like you can check the SHOEBOX page; I never stop scribbling.

2D structure of smoking cessation drug bupropi...                                   Desvenlafaxine succinate 50mg Tablets (Pristiq...

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Super-Consumers’ Thought for the Day

Posted by ghostlizard on April 14, 2012
Posted in: Income Inequality, Occupy Movement, The Death of Main Street. Tagged: Discount Addiction, income inequality, The Death of Main Street. Leave a comment

It struck me recently that the (mostly) Chinese-made stuff (or-if you prefer – useless, low-quality crap) we buy at Wal-Mart, although cheap not just in price, but in every respect, does (at least for a short while) work pretty well. Unfortunately, because we buy so much of it, more and more American workers DON’T. I just wish I could afford to “Buy American;” I would never step foot in one of those neighborhood-destroying monstrosities they call ‘Supercenters’ again, unless I had to seek shelter from a tornado or something. ” Wal-Mart is evil,” (exaggeration in original quote).

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10 Myths About Poverty in America (Part Two)

Posted by ghostlizard on December 15, 2011
Posted in: Corruption, Corruption in Washington, Homelessness, Income Inequality, Occupy Movement, Poverty, Uncategorized. Tagged: Christmas Eve, Department for Communities and Local Government, Food Stamps, Homelessness, income inequality, New Deal, occupy movement, Poverty, Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, United States. Leave a comment
English: A homeless man in New York with the A...

Happy Holidays from New York!

Myth #2: The unconscionable number of homeless people on America’s streets is due to the conscious choices of the homeless themselves; in other words, the homeless choose the streets.

In our last transmission we saw that the entitlements we hear so much about are meager and  no longer reducing poverty – even among the working poor. Those who qualify are kept ignorant of their benefits and refused them when they do apply. Those lucky few who get legal help and are approved to receive them often find it difficult to even pay rent…anywhere. Ask the next man, woman, or child living on your town’s  avenues and boulevards who begs for your small change: I’ll bet they know at least one homeless person who gets some form of welfare (and, as we saw, since 1996 that increasingly consists solely of Social Security and Food Stamps).

Another thing people believe is that the poor (and, specifically, the homeless) somehow prefer their deprivation, are at fault for it, or choose to live under overpasses and bridges(for more, see: http://www.nationalhomeless.org/factsheets/why.html). This is like believing that cancer patients choose their tumors. Only through a complete lack of empathy and compassion can someone honestly believe this.  When your beliefs reduce your compassion towards others – and especially those different from you – then they make you less human. If they compel you to actually harm others, then no reasonable person would consider  them valid…that’s why we codify prohibitions against ‘hate crimes‘ (as they are euphemistically called now). The belief that the homeless choose their plight is just as harmful to society as the belief that if you kill lots of innocent people whose faith differs from yours you will be rewarded in another world (think 9/11). Without this economic prejudice not only would there be no homeless Americans, but society as a whole would need far fewer (more expensive) prisons (http://www.nationalhomeless.org/factsheets/criminalization.html)  and emergency rooms ( see: http://www.nationalhomeless.org/factsheets/health.html) . The incidence of hate crimes against the homeless (see: http://www.nationalhomeless.org/factsheets/hatecrimes_factsheets/index.html )  would no doubt diminish if more Americans felt empathy towards them, instead of blaming  them. There are many countries where homelessness is much worse than it is in America. The UN Center on Human Settlements estimates 1 billion people worldwide live without adequate housing (see: http://www.ehow.com/about_4578842_global-homelessness.html ). But most of these countries are considered poor or ‘third-world’ nations. Shouldn’t we be comparing ourselves to other ‘advanced’ nations? In the United States (according to HUD ‘s 2008 reported Estimate of Sheltered Homeless Persons during a One-Year Period, October 2006 to September 2007,  about 1,589,000 persons used an emergency shelter and/or transitional housing during the 12-month period –  about 1 in every 200 persons in the United States was in a homeless facility in that time period. (see:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homelessness) In the United Kingdom in one year (2005): 10,459 rough sleepers, 98,750 households in temporary accommodation (Department for Communities and Local Government 2005). The population of the United Kingdom was only 60 million in 2005, but that still makes their rate of homelessness only  about 1 in 6,000 (see http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/5281360.stm). And their Gross Domestic Product that year was only $2,231,895,064,576, while ours was $12,397,900,201,984 (see: http://www.geohive.com/charts/ec_gdp1.aspx). To paraphrase one of our current President’s best lines: that’s not class warfare, it’s math –  and it’s wrong. Blaming homeless Americans for their state can’t change the facts. At this time of year people seem to feel compelled to practice random acts of kindness, and that’s truly wonderful. But that twenty dollars you give to the first homeless American you meet on Christmas Eve won’t improve their lives for long, and on December 26th they’ll see you again, on your way to work, and you will most likely pass them without a glance. Charity alone will never eliminate homelessness in America, that’s the government’s job (and has been since about 1932 – see: any article about FDR, the Great Depression, or the New Deal). We should however remember that although charity begins at home it shouldn’t end there, too. Every little bit helps.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution By license.
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  • VIDEO: America’s homeless families seek shelter (bbc.co.uk)
  • 70,000 Children Will Wake up Homeless on Christmas Day (ibtimes.com)

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such a whiner…

Posted by ghostlizard on December 7, 2011
Posted in: Crohn's Disease. Tagged: American Beauty, Annette Bening, Crohn's Disease, Facebook, Medicaid. Leave a comment

There’s a certain strain of magical thinking that only the chronically ill can indulge in. It’s the idea that even diseases medically-known to be incurable will go away if we just pretend we’re healthy. Our mass media and popular culture encourage this delusion. It is akin to the belief among those on the bottom rung of the economic ladder – or even among the middle class – that to be more successful you just have to project an image of success (embodied most memorably for me by Annette Bening playing Mrs. Lester Burnham in the 1999 film “American Beauty,” who adopted the mantra “I will sell this house today!” in an effort to grow her real estate business). I practiced that for years (somewhat out of necessity – since I had no health insurance, and everyone knows you shouldn’t worry about things you can’t do anything about, right?), refusing to even talk about Crohn’s Disease, particularly about my painful and embarrassing symptoms. Then someone suggested that all aspiring (or – less charitably – failed) writers have blogs these days, even if only for the practice. So was born this passage that you are reading right now, and many others, in which I discuss my illness ( actually illnesses, since I’m also certifiably Bipolar). I’m not sure if I’m suddenly not afraid to write about it because I realize that a blog is like playing to an unimaginably huge room while the vast majority of the seats are empty, or because I’m older and (perhaps) less self-conscious in general. But I digress. The point is that I finally realized that you don’t get well just by acting well. I have Medicaid now, and I’m being treated with the newest medications for (in this case) Crohn’s, so I haven’t been hospitalized for almost a-year-and-a-half. I still don’t discuss my symptoms with most people, since, once you start waxing eloquently on the drawbacks of constant diarrhea there’s really nowhere for the conversation to go (even if there is somewhere for you to go nearby – and there’d better be ). That said, even writing about it in the midst of this vast blog-o-spherical sea isn’t easy. It can make you feel pitied, even if you’re not. It can give you the feeling that you’ve invaded your own privacy somehow. Not that there is such a thing as privacy anymore (how quaint!)… I don’t think anyone is naïve enough to believe that. People don’t seem to even want what used to be called a ” private life;” apparently they’re lining up in Cyberland to click away their right to privacy, entrusting it to people and companies known to be unworthy of that trust: yes, I’m talking to you Mark Zuckerberg. Personally I don’t do Facebook: it bores me, and I think it’s mainly for children, adolescents, and advertisers. I also may be the only person in America who has never tweeted anything, since I don’t feel the need to broadcast my text messages, and (as I’ve said before) I have never aspired to be or to have a ‘follower.’ Also, I’m not selling anything, and that has undeniably become the raison d’etre of ‘social’ media. But I digress. I’ve been living mostly on generic Ensure Plus, and that alone improves my condition considerably. The only fly in that nutritious ointment is this simple fact: liquid in, liquid out. So for the past few days I’ve rarely ventured far from the comfort and safety of my own bathroom. I can OD on Imodium and take a relatively long bus ride, if necessary. I just can’t – on many days – eat or drink  anything until I get home. Try going through your day without refueling or rehydrating at some point while out of the house. It sucks. It majorly sucks, as the kids (used to) say. So I’m griping about it in the only way that I know of that probably won’t annoy or disgust anybody: digitally. When your body becomes the enemy, the mind can be your best friend. And it’s practice. For what I don’t know (yet).

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution By license.
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still ill…

Posted by ghostlizard on December 6, 2011
Posted in: Bipolar Disorder, Bullying, Crohn's Disease, Income Inequality, Occupy Movement, Poverty. Tagged: Bipolar Disorder, Bullying, Crohn's Disease, income inequality, occupy movement, Poverty. Leave a comment
Well, the weekend has come and gone and I still feel like crap. I have an hour here-or-there that’s bearable, and then spend the rest of the day at home bent over in pain or running to the restroom repeatedly. Here are three things I wanted to share with anyone who might actually read this someday – all were in my inbox this morning.

What if this were you? This reminded me of why I started skipping school in the eighth grade.

 

blog2 cheap coat


think Wal-Mart…

on stealing from thieves…on stealing from thieves...


Happy Tuesday, or whatever day you read this.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution By license.

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on why voters aren’t represented in Washington…

Posted by ghostlizard on December 2, 2011
Posted in: Corruption in Washington, Income Inequality, Occupy Movement, Poverty. Tagged: income inequality, occupy movement, Poverty. Leave a comment

Not Our House

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              An article from today’s New York Times brings to mind the reason that what is  being called ‘the 99%’  isn’t represented in Washington. Our legislators don’t (for the most part) work for us. We  provide only their salaries and extremely generous lifetime of benefits. The total amount that  voters contribute to our representatives’ take pales in comparison to the vast amounts of private money required (and provided overwhelmingly by the so-called 1% – mostly the top .o1%- who’re  footing the tab for today’s inordinately expensive federal campaigns) to run for office today. Until the voters are overwhelmingly the providers of campaign dollars the vast majority of Americans won’t be represented proportionally. The people signing the biggest checks are the people our lawmakers really work for. When the voters are the ones paying for the campaigns (and only then) the politicians will work for us. The boss is always the guy that signs the checks. The following article demonstrates how completely the wealthiest Americans and corporations control government policy, and how important it is to them to cut the voters out almost completely. The only solution to this problem is 100% public financing of all political campaigns, which is why our legislators are quietly  meeting behind closed doors to cut the voters’ money out completely .   TheOnes Who Write the Checks are Represented, and That’s Not Us         Related: http://usgovinfo.about.com/library/aa031200a.htm                                                                                   

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"To puke or not to puke…

Posted by ghostlizard on December 1, 2011
Posted in: Crohn's Disease. Tagged: Crohn's Disease. Leave a comment

that is the digestion. Whether ’tis nobler in the gut to suffer the inflammation of outrageous misfortune, or to blow chunks against a sea of troubles and by so blowing end them. To hurl, to sleep”…” to sleep – perchance to dream : ay, there’s the rub, for in that vomit-sleep what dreams may come when we have gurgled up this mortal bile, must give us nausea.” Or something like that. Okay, okay… so it ain’t Shakespeare, but if Hamlet had had Crohn’s and gave his soliloquy while sitting on his porcelain throne, holding a double-lined wastebasket in front of his mouth (just in case), and emptying the contents of his entrails spasmodically between lines…well I, for one, would definitely have identified with him more. That really blows. Chunks. Like I just did. I’ll spare you the details (or is it too late for that already?). Suffice it to say that one can be too thin (if not too rich – how would I know?) but one can never have too much toilet paper. Seriously, ever.

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Crohn’s still sucks…

Posted by ghostlizard on November 30, 2011
Posted in: Crohn's Disease. Tagged: Crohn's Disease. 1 Comment

This whole Crohn’s Disease thing is really kicking my butt (literally). I have completely lost all attraction to food. I can see myself shrinking by the day. I was supposed to prep for a CT scan tonight, but my transportation just called it off. I gave myself another painfully cold injection of Humira, and my labs are improving, but the last time I started losing weight like this I ended up in the hospital for twelve  days. I was down to 112 lbs. then. I’m currently hovering around 130 (and I’m  5′ 11.5 “) and I’m starting to feel very fatigued. I’ve been putting off and rescheduling everything all week. I managed to walk the dog across the street to the preferred dumping ground of most of the neighborhood canines, and made it to the corner store (because the last thing you want to run out of as an IBD patient is toilet paper; I came dangerously close). I know Ensure would help, but it’s too expensive, so I settled for a Sport Shake or Nutrament or something. Now I have to reschedule the CT scan because my roommate has the bus pass and his boss-of-the-day (he temps) asked him to stay late. I feel like I’m just whining, so I’ll leave it at that.

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half empty and half full…

Posted by ghostlizard on November 24, 2011
Posted in: Thanksgiving. Tagged: Gravy, homemade gravy boats, Is the glass half empty or half full?, Martha Stewart, Patent leather, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving dinner, Uncle Sheckey. Leave a comment
Gravy boat, Pentik Aino

gravy boat

Sometimes holidays don’t go as planned, and a pessimist would insist that the gravy boat is half empty. Then Martha Stewart would correctly point out that the gravy boat she helped you make out of an old pair of patent-leather open-toed shoes is actually half full. A realist like me would even more correctly indicate to the Thanksgiving dinner party that the gravy boat is half empty and half full. So I guess the moral of the story is: you should always make sure everyone gets at least a little gravy before it’s passed down to your fat Uncle Sheckey.

From Chicas. Waiting for warmer weather...

gravy boat fetus

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who celebrates today. You have much cause for gratitude, even if you usually don’t notice it.

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giving thanks early…

Posted by ghostlizard on November 23, 2011
Posted in: Bipolar Disorder, Crohn's Disease, Thanksgiving. Tagged: Bipolar Disorder, Crohn's Disease. Leave a comment

Happy Thanksgiving Eve!

Well, it’s the day before Thanksgiving (again?!? didn’t we just do this last year?) so I’m trying to be grateful. This is what I’m grateful for (in no particular order) :

1.Although some find the changing of the seasons at this time of year charming, I think that’s only true for about a four-day weekend. After that, winter becomes  hard work, and that’s why I’m grateful  I’m not shoveling snow : it’s 74o here.

2.My roommate is working at the moment, so it looks like turkey dinner is in the cards this year (last year it was chicken).

3.I’m on a new med this year (Humira), which seems to be working, so I won’t spend Thursday evening in the restroom. These days I only have to do ‘latrine duty’ in the mornings; on the best days not at all.

4.Last year the only person I knew in the building was my roomie, having moved in not long before the holiday season. This year I have lots of neighbors to say “Happy Thanksgiving!” to, even if I’m not really feeling it.

5.My head is a lot clearer than it was a year ago, since I was taking 600mg./day  of Seroquel then, and I’m only taking 25mg./day now.

6.The lights are on (for now, at least).

7.I have Internet access at home, however slow the speed or bad the customer service (AT&T has problems dealing with actual people, apparently).

8. I have love in my life this year (corny, right?).

9. Xanax.

10. Medicinal marijuana laws.

11. Life.

I was shooting for ten things I’m grateful for, but I only stopped at 11 because 11 is one of my lucky numbers. I thought of lots of other things I’m thankful for: the people who are nice to me, the new books I’m reading, the beach, Internet porn…surprisingly, the list is endless, but only when I’m
in a good mood. Depression reduces this list to one sometimes: 1. I haven’t killed myself.

Strange how different the world is when you’re on the right antidepressants. It’s the difference between the condemned man and the child picking flowers far outside the windows of his prison.

I’m glad to be picking daisies today, instead of pushing them up  from below. Good enough for me.

If anyone reads this today, I hope you’re grateful, too.

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new books to read…

Posted by ghostlizard on November 22, 2011
Posted in: Income Inequality, Occupy Movement, Poverty. Tagged: income inequality, occupy movement. Leave a comment
Steven Pinker

Steven Pinker

Jeffrey Sachs

Jeffrey Sachs

I’m reading Jeffrey Sachs‘ “The Price of Civilization” and Steven Pinker ‘s “Better Angels of Our Nature.” So far my impression (after 100 pgs. each) of them makes me wish they were required reading for every American citizen, especially politicians and, most especially the radical, wing-nut elements of the Tea Party. Unfortunately, the people who most need to read them are too busy fawning over their obese, pill-popping radio and TV host ‘heroes’, the very ones manipulating them into voting against themselves, and for their billionaire backers’ interests. Welcome to America.

Related articles
  • Steven Pinker’s book, The Better Angels of Our Nature – the final verdict | David Shariatmadari(guardian.co.uk)
  • Jeffrey Sachs tallies up the price of civilization(features.blogs.fortune.cnn.com)
  • Science Weekly Extra: Steven Pinker on The Better Angels of Our Nature(guardian.co.uk)
  • Steven Pinker: ‘Artists used to gush about the beauty of war. The First World War put an end to that’(independent.co.uk)
  • Interview with Steven Pinker: Are we getting better? (csmonitor.com)
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It’s Morally Indefensible…

Posted by ghostlizard on November 19, 2011
Posted in: Income Inequality, Occupy Movement, Poverty. Tagged: income inequality, occupy movement, Poverty. 1 Comment

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clouds…

Posted by ghostlizard on November 18, 2011
Posted in: Crohn's Disease. Tagged: Crohn's Disease. Leave a comment

                                                                                                                                                             It’s a very grey day here in sunny South Florida. I skipped the Prednisone this morning. I think it is helping me to gain weight; I seem to be eating more. I just wanted to feel like my actual self for the day. I don’t like my self on Prednisone. The world is grey even on the sunniest days when you’re on it. It’s almost like having a completely different personality: not only do you feel different, but you act and even look different, and people treat you differently. I just decided that (at least for today) I’ve gotta be me. We’ll see how it goes. Maybe I’ll take it tomorrow, maybe I won’t.

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FPL cheats poor customers (Part 1)

Posted by ghostlizard on November 17, 2011
Posted in: Income Inequality, Occupy Movement, Poverty. Tagged: Poverty. 1 Comment

Today I am lost in the Prednisone blues again. Everything seems bad, like the world is all wrong and no right. I know it’s temporary, but it sure feels permanent. But that’s not the only thing troubling me.                                                                                                                                                        A friend of mine recently lost his roommate and had trouble paying his electric bill. I told him about LIHEAP – the Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program – and he applied. After jumping through all the required hoops, he was approved, and called excitedly with the news that his Oct. and Nov. bills had been covered. He was so grateful, and relieved that he now had until December before he would owe the electric company (in this case Florida Power & Light, or FPL) again. His bill averages $90 – $100/month, and he had plenty of time to catch up now. He called me again when his next FPL bill arrived, this time very upset. His latest bill (due on Dec.9th) is for $183. His current charges were in  the usual range ($93), but the company had added another $90 (effectively doubling his bill for one month) solely because he had had his bill paid by the assistance agency. FPL explains this by claiming that assistance agency payments are not payments at all, but what they call “commitments” to pay. Had my friend paid in cash, or by check or credit card, his next  bill would have been $93…the usual. Because he needed help from an agency his bill is twice that. The poor are discriminated against in many ways in this country. This is just one example of  institutionalized discrimination against the poor. FPL says that because the assistance agency hasn’t actually transferred the payments for October and November into their account yet they treat the customer as if they hadn’t paid at all, so they count it as an unpaid balance. This automatically removes the account from the ‘Budget Billing’ program my friend had signed up for in order to be able to afford electricity at all. Late fees continue to accrue as if the bill was still unpaid, yet the company apparently isn’t worried that they won’t get their money or they wouldn’t give the agency the extra time to actually transfer the funds, would they? Besides, whatever deal FPL has with the assistance agencies is between them, The customer isn’t asking for more time, the agency (supposedly) is. This is of course just another predatory practice. FPL is making money from the assistance agency by following up an assistance agency payment with fees to the customer in question that basically appropriate the government money that the customer in need has been granted (or a sizable portion of it – in this case almost 50%!).                                                                                          This is so shamefully greedy and obviously wrong that you have to wonder about the people at FPL ( who like to brag on their website about what a caring ‘community partner’ they are) responsible for these practices. This is a company that asks every customer right on their statement if they’d like to add $1 to their payment for the FPL “Care to Share” program, ostensibly to help low-income residents. In truth the program apparently never has any funds available (according to their own operators) whatever they collect. On top of that they add charges to the bills of customers so needy that they actually received  government help to pay their last bill. That’s just plain evil.

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not going anymore…

Posted by ghostlizard on November 16, 2011
Posted in: Bipolar Disorder, Crohn's Disease. Tagged: Crohn's Disease. Leave a comment
T.S. Eliot photographed one Sunday afternoon i...

T.S. Eliot

Well, the mad dash for the bathroom ended late last night. I took another 14 Imodium yesterday, and (in a post-sleeping pill stupor) ate enough to make up for the forced fast of the last 48 hours or so. I slept through the night without once being awakened by my colon’s overactive alarm clock. Waking up after the sun does is a good feeling that I think healthy sleepers don’t appreciate. When I’m lucky – and in complete remission –  I can almost take uninterrupted sleep for granted myself. Unfortunately, even in my sleep I  see myself running for the nearest restroom, often in the midst of some wonderful dream meal, in an over-priced place I could never afford. Cut to a hospital bed, a tray in my lap full of clear liquids…I sneak out of my room and towards the locked space where the nurses keep the contraband calories ( tiny cardboard cups of ice cream and orange sherbet, small packs of graham crackers,etc. for the patients on less restrictive diets). Quietly I stalk the snack foods in my non-skid hospital socks, hoping the next LPN who passes won’t check my diet orders before handing over the proscribed and delicious creaminess. Cut to the sterile bathroom just feet from my bed; I’m eating ice cream on the toilet in case my RN pops in….and because the first bite would’ve led me there anyway.                                                                                                                                     And then I wake up, usually. Sometimes, before I’m even totally aware of it, I am already sitting on the ‘john’ – my bowels having opened well before my eyes did. Those are actually the good days. On the bad days I don’t make it to the bowl ‘on-time,’ or my roommate is in there before me and the closed door is what stirs me to full consciousness. The rest of that picture is easy to imagine, but the feeling it brings is not. To the average person such a scene is usually as hilarious as it is disgusting, apparently. Let’s just say my colon really knows how to clear a room. I am inured to these reactions to some extent by now, but I try to avoid those who’ve witnessed these symptoms and their messy results almost as much as I do the symptoms themselves. Once someone has seen you at your sickest they never look at you the same way again. It’s hard then not to judge. The smirks and the stifled laughter can feel very cruel coming from the people you care about (others you can just write-off as heartless or ignorant). Even in bad dreams the people you love can’t really understand what you’re going through: what you are.  You can go on loving them anyway (and, if you’re like me, you really have no choice), but the bitterness abides and (as T.S. Eliot wrote) “time is no healer; the patient is no longer there.” (from “Four Quartets“). Maybe Mr. Eliot and I are both wrong. Perhaps time does heal all wounds. Unfortunately it leaves big, ugly scars behind.                                             Today I woke up before my bowels did, and for that I am grateful.

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another shitty day (literally)

Posted by ghostlizard on November 14, 2011
Posted in: Bipolar Disorder, Crohn's Disease. Tagged: Crohn's Disease, Depression. Leave a comment

I just officially got out of bed, but in truth I’ve been up since 4 AM running between my bed and the toilet. I’ve taken all the Imodium I had left ( 6 pills), and – for obvious reasons – a trip to the corner drug store would probably be ill-advised. My  doctor says I’m still losing weight, even though my labs are great and , in general, the latest med (Humira) seems to be working. But my Crohn’s symptoms are severe again today: the pain that makes you want to disembowel yourself, and the diarrhea that feels like your body is doing exactly that. The Prednisone I had to start taking again (in an attempt to increase my almost non-existent appetite) has skewed my mood downward, and Death seemed attractive again last night. Prednisone alone is bad enough, but in combination with antidepressants and anti-anxiety pills and tranquilizers it’s a brick wall in your brain that you can’t stop banging your head against…it’s compulsory, apparently. So the Sun is shining through the blinds, and the radio insists on telling me the ‘news,’ and the dog is waiting to be walked while I carefully count the minutes between bowel movements and consider calling 911. The hospital always knows how to plug you up, and end your pain. After three days of Jell-o and clear broth, two days of low-residue dreck-on-a-tray, and five days of IV Dilaudid and steroids and antibiotics (etc.) I would come home with a short reprieve.For a few days or weeks I would feel like an almost-normal person, as I did before my diagnosis. The hospital can actually put you in remission, but  like a crashed car fresh out of a bad body shop the damage is still there, under the bright, new paint. But the driver, for a short while, can dream that the repairs are permanent ( or at least long-term ) until the next minor accident reveals the hard metal scars all over again. My colon is that car, a lemon that can be dressed up to look and feel like a sweet, Georgia peach. One bite is all it takes though to taste the sourness beneath. Okay, I’ve tortured that metaphor enough now. For fun, maybe later I’ll count the mixed metaphors in this passage. If I move my desk I can even do it from the bathroom, and, unfortunately, I’m probably going to have to.                                       A short about Crohn’s by someone I have never met who understands me better than my friends and family do.

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fell on black days…

Posted by ghostlizard on November 13, 2011
Posted in: Bipolar Disorder. Tagged: Depression. Leave a comment

If I don’t say anything mean to my roommate today, and I don’t hack my own arm off- I will consider it a huge victory. Over Prednisone (aka ‘the devil’), that is. Think I’ll end there because I don’t have anything nice to say today (to myself, especially).

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the brain, too, is an unreliable narrator…

Posted by ghostlizard on November 11, 2011
Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: fart jokes, neuroscience. Leave a comment
Many 18th c. treatments for psychological dist...

The Old View

If it is true (as several new books on recent advances and discoveries in neuroscience conclude) that the subconscious largely controls our actions, then it follows that it’s also largely responsible for our inaction. I’m not sure yet why that’s important, but I’m sure I’ll think of something. If it’s also true that the conscious mind is only creating a narrative that explains the actions initiated by the subconscious, then I suppose our one shot at happiness lies in telling ourselves the right stories – about our selves. More importantly, we must make sure that our conscience can always override the subconscious – when its’ automatic edicts endanger anyone, or defy all reason in some potentially tragic way. Most importantly of all, based on these new findings in neuroscience,we should all

Improving Comics: Fart Machine

 

                                                                                                                                                                                  tell more fart jokes.                                                                                                                                                        This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution By license.                                      For further reading:

Title The secret life of the brain / Richard Restak.
Author Restak, Richard M., 1942-
Call # 612.82 RE
Publisher Washington, DC : Joseph Henry Press, c2001.
Paging xx, 201 p. : col. ill. ; 26 cm.
Notes Includes index.
Subject(s) Brain Popular works. Neurosciences Popular works.
ISBN 0309074355
Title Phantoms in the brain : probing the mysteries of the human mind / V.S. Ramachandran and Sandra Blakeslee.
Author Ramachandran, V. S.
Call # 612.82 RA
Edition 1st Quill ed.
Publisher New York : Harper Perennial, 1999, c1998.
Paging xix, 328 p. : ill. ; 24 cm.
Notes Includes bibliographical references (p. 299-313) and index.
Subject(s) Brain Popular works. Neurosciences Popular works. Neurology Popular works.
ISBN 0688172172 (pbk. : alk. paper) 9780688172176 (pbk. : alk. paper)
Other Terms Blakeslee, Sandra


Title The three-pound enigma : the human brain and the quest to unlock its mysteries / by Shannon Moffett.
Author Moffett, Shannon, 1972-
Call # 612.82 MO
Edition 1st ed.
Publisher Chapel Hill, NC : Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill, 2006.
Paging x, 309 p. : ill. ; 24 cm.
Notes Includes bibliographical references (p. [279]-296) and index.
Contents Postconception — Touching the brain — Embryonic period — Watching the brain — Fetal period — Mining the brain — Childhood — The dreaming brain — Adolescence — Multiple minds — Adulthood — Mind and magic — Old age — Open mind — Death — Mind and body.
Subject(s) Brain Popular works. Brain Localization of functions Popular works. Brain physiology Popular Works. Mental Processes physiology Popular Works. Neurosciences Popular Works.
Psychophysiology Popular Works.
ISBN 9781565124233 (hardcover) 1565124235
Title Brain : the complete mind : how it develops, how it works, and how to keep it sharp / Michael S. Sweeney ; foreword by Richard Restak.
Author Sweeney, Michael S.
Call # 612.82 SW
Publisher Washington, D.C. : National Geographic, c2009.
Paging ix, 342 p. : ill. (some col.) ; 29 cm.
Notes Includes bibliographical references (p. 338-339) and index.
Contents The amazing brain — The nervous system — Brain development — The senses — Motion — States of mind — The feeling brain — Learning & memory — The aging brain — Future of the brain.
Summary An illustrated guide to the brain’s development and functions. Presents accessible coverage of how the brain works and the latest scientific discoveries, sharing lifestyle tips on how to promote brain health through exercise, nutrition, and specific bolstering activities.
Subject(s) Brain Popular Works. Brain Popular works.
Neurosciences Popular works.
ISBN 9781426205477 1426205473 9781426205484 (deluxe) 1426205481 (deluxe)
Title The undiscovered mind : how the human brain defies replication, medication, and explanation / John Horgan.
Author Horgan, John, 1953-
Call # 612.82 HO
Publisher New York : Free Press, c1999.
Paging 325 p. ; 25 cm.
Notes Includes bibliographical references and index.
Contents I-witnessing — Neuroscience’s explanatory gap — Why Freud isn’t dead — Psychotherapy and the dodo hypothesis — Prozac and other placebos — Gene-whiz science — Darwin to the rescue! — Artificial common sense — The consciousness conundrum — The future of mind-science.
Subject(s) Neurosciences Popular works.
ISBN 0684850753
Title The tell-tale brain : a neuroscientist’s quest for what makes us human / V.S. Ramachandran.
Author Ramachandran, V. S.
Call # 616.8 RA
Edition 1st ed.
Publisher New York : W.W. Norton, c2011.
Paging xxvi, 357 p. : ill. ; 25 cm.
Notes Includes bibliographical references (p. [306]-339) and index.
Contents No mere ape — Phantom limbs and plastic brains — Seeing and knowing — Loud colors and hot babes : synesthesia — The neurons that shaped civilization — Where is Steven? : The riddle of autism — The power of babble : the evolution of language — Beauty and the brain : the emergence of aesthetics — The artful brain : universal laws — An ape with a soul : how introspection evolved.
Summary Ramachandran–the “Marco Polo of neuroscience”–reveals what baffling and extreme case studies can teach us about normal brain function and how it evolved. Among the topics he discusses are synesthesia as a window to creativity and autism as a springboard to understanding self-awareness.
Subject(s) Brain Popular works. Neurosciences Popular works. Neurology Popular works.
ISBN 0393077829 9780393077827
The future of the brain : the promise and perils of tomorrow’s neuroscience / Steven Rose.
Author Rose, Steven.
Call # 153 RO
Website Table of contents http://www.loc.gov/catdir/toc/ecip052/2004023578.html
Publisher Oxford ; New York : Oxford University Press, c2005.
Paging viii, 344 p. : ill. ; 25 cm.
Notes Includes bibliographical references and index.
Contents The promise and the threat — The past is the key to the present — From 1 to 100 billion in nine months — Becoming human — Becoming a person — Having a brain, being a mind — Ageing brains, wiser minds — What we know, what we might know and what we can’t know — Healing the mind via the brain — Modulating, mending or manipulating — The next big thing? — Ethics in a neurocentric world.
Subject(s) Brain Popular works. Neurosciences Popular works.
ISBN 0195154207 (alk. paper)

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impetus for the occupation (pt. 5)

Posted by ghostlizard on November 11, 2011
Posted in: Bipolar Disorder, Income Inequality, Poverty. Tagged: occupy movement. Leave a comment

The following reading from The Atlantic magazine struck me as particularly timely. I hope I’m not the only one who reads it.                                                                                                                                                        http://www.theatlantic.com/life/archive/2011/10/poverty-and-mental-health-can-the-two-way-connection-be-broken/247275/.  P.S.   Happy Veterans Day, and my deepest admiration, gratitude, and best regards to all those who have served their country (a.k.a. us).                              This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution By license.

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dark blue days (cont’d)

Posted by ghostlizard on November 10, 2011
Posted in: Bipolar Disorder, Crohn's Disease, Poverty. Tagged: Depression. Leave a comment

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         It’s not just the Prednisone. Every aspect of my life is in shambles. Antidepressants can’t change that. Wellbutrin won’t increase my net worth (although it’s probably done that for the company that sells it) or decrease my emotional isolation. When you’re not sound of body or mind, when you have no assets and no bank account, when there is no unpaid yet sympathetic presence in your life  no drug or combination of drugs can restore you completely. The indigo chasm inside may  be invisible  at times, but it is always vast. Today it engulfs me. Boo-hoo, right? Who cares.

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dark blue days

Posted by ghostlizard on November 10, 2011
Posted in: Bipolar Disorder, Crohn's Disease. Tagged: Crohn's Disease. Leave a comment

The doctor put me back on Prednisone because I’m still losing weight. Prednisone sucks. Sometimes I wonder…what’s the point?                                                                                                     This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution By license.

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impetus for the occupation (pt.4)

Posted by ghostlizard on November 3, 2011
Posted in: Income Inequality, Occupy Movement. Tagged: occupy movement. Leave a comment

1.) Study- Big corporations use loopholes, dodge taxes   From: washingtonpost.com (11/03/11)

2.) Thinking Big on Poverty

Katrina vanden Heuvelon October 31, 2011 – 1:30pm ET
“A dangerous myth that permeates our national narrative is that ‘the poor will always be among us’ and that there is little government can do to systematically reduce poverty. History shows this belief to be false.”
—“Restoring Shared Prosperity” report, October 2011“I believe what the Occupy Wall Street movement has done is a patriotic thing by putting wage inequality back on the front and center stage,” said Secretary of Labor Hilda Solis, delivering a keynote address at the Center for American Progress last week (streamed online here). The occasion was the Half in Ten campaign’s release of its inaugural report that starts the clock ticking on its aggressive goal to cut poverty in half in ten years nationally and in every state. Solis spoke to a standing-room-only crowd of advocates, activists, scholars and reporters.“You think big, and you challenge America’s leaders to do big things,” said Solis, noting that the goal of cutting poverty in half was nearly achieved in the decade following President Lyndon Johnson’s launch of the War on Povertyforty-seven years ago. “Cutting the poverty rate in half in ten years is something that I too believe we can do. Providing a ladder out of poverty has been my life’s work.”The new report offers a comprehensive look at a record 46.2 million people living in poverty in the nation today, and lays out the key indicators within four categories that Half in Ten will track to measure progress towards its goal: overall poverty in the United States, more good jobs, strengthening families and communities and family economic security.It ranks states according to each of the indicators, and an interactive website emphasizes the state’s bottom-ranking data to focus attention on the areas that need the most work. The report also includes a call to action which outlines a set of policies that would make a real difference in people’s lives right now.

The speakers on hand—including Secretary Solis, former SEIU Secretary-Treasurer Anna Burger, author Barbara Ehrenreich and the Leadership Conference on Civil and Human Rights President and CEO Wade Henderson—recognize the enormity of the task: nearly one in six Americans now live below the poverty line of $22,000 for a family of four, including over 20 percent of all kids. The fact that the GOP is hostile to the federal government doing anything other than cutting taxes, spending on defense and prosecuting undocumented workers only makes the job harder.

But there was also a sense of hope among the speakers that there is increasingly a recognition of a common struggle in our inequitable economy—whether one is a homeless parent, a college graduate with huge debt, or a 50-year-old who was laid off and sees few if any prospects for a decent job. In fact, as the report points out, more than one in three Americans now lives on less than $44,700 annually for a family of four. That makes it pretty tough—sometimes impossible—to afford the basics like housing, healthcare, food and education.That’s why more and more people are turning to the safety net who never imagined they would need to.

“For so long poverty has been isolated as a problem of someone else—it’s the people who don’t work hard, or make bad lifestyle decisions, or something,” said Ehrenreich. “You can’t do that anymore at this moment. So we have to talk about how to seize this moment.”

Burger and others agreed that OWS is “a spark” but that inside the beltway elites and some progressive groups should stop harping on how to help them organize, or develop a set of demands, etc. “We should not think that we are going to take over Occupy Wall Street. They should be what they want to be,” said Burger. “We all belong to organizations, we have members. Can we organize us as opposed to trying to organize them? They’ve already organized them.”

There was agreement that this report, along with its policy recommendations, can help arm organizers and activists in their efforts to mobilize people, pressure politicians to do the right thing and hold them accountable when they don’t.

“[This report helps] people realize they aren’t the only ones suffering,” said Burger. “Information like this—getting it out so that people know and can add their stories and add their faces to it—is the kind of stuff that sparks movements. I’m hoping that OWS is the first spark, and that there become lots of sparks, and that we feed those sparks with information, with courage, with real determination to not let the other side block us.”

“This report will be used loud and proud,” said Tara Marks, co-director of Just Harvest in Pittsburgh, a membership organization that organizes, advocates and provides direct service towards the elimination of poverty and hunger. “This is the information I need to get back to our clients so they can advocate for themselves. So I can say, ‘You are part of this army. And we need you to fight, and we’re here to supply you. Let’s go get it done.’ And then showing up at these Senators’ and policymakers’ offices and saying ‘enough is enough.’ ”

Among the most powerful findings by Half in Ten is that the poverty rate of over 40 percent for single-mother families drops to just 14 percent when she has a full-time, year round job. This shows the importance of policies like paid leave (80 percent of low-wage workers have no paid sick leave), flexible workplaces and safe and reliable childcare instead of waiting lists across the country. Further, only 4 percent of households with more than one earner are in poverty, as compared to 24 percent with a single earner. While conservatives seize on that data to say that marriage is the way out of poverty, progressives understand that it isn’t the only path, and that supporting multiple incomes in a number of forms is crucial. For example, summer and year-round programs aimed at connecting disadvantaged youth to education and work experience are critical, as are subsidized training and employment services—especially at a moment when approximately 15 percent of youth ages 16 to 24 are neither working nor enrolled in school. Solis said she anticipates a vote next month on a provision of President Obama’s American Jobs Act that would create a $3.5 billion fund for job programs targeting disadvantaged communities, including $1.5 billion for youth employment.

She also honed in on the gender wage gap discussed in the report, increasingly significant as women now represent a majority of breadwinners or co-breadwinners.

“Today in America, women are paid an average of eighty cents for every dollar paid to men. For African-American women, it’s seventy cents on the dollar. For Latina women, it’s sixty cents on the dollar,” she said. “According to the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, if we closed the pay gap between men and women, we could cut in half the number of children living in poverty.”

Finally, the report pairs familiar data on the unemployment crisis with more comprehensive data on job quality, tracking the number of workers without paid sick leave, retirement benefits and family supporting wages to give a more complete picture of the working poor and workers barely hanging on to the bottom rungs of the middle class.

“Overall, the report connects information on the number of people struggling to move out of poverty with the necessary policy tools to increase opportunity such as more good jobs, access to financial institutions to save for the future and affordable housing to name a few,” Desmond Brown, consultant to Half in Ten, told me. “Going forward, the campaign will compare next year’s data to this year’s baseline to track our progress in restoring shared prosperity and rebuilding the middle class.”

But Half in Ten’s latest work, and the people who will use it to organize and push the country in a more humane direction, are also part of a much larger fight.

“We’re in a fight for the heart and soul of this country,” said Solis.  “It’s a fight about whether we’re a country still willing to do big things.”

Related Topics: Occupy Wall Street | Gap Between Wealth and Poverty | Poverty
  • From: thenation.com                                                                                                                    This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution By license.

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impetus for the occupation (pt. 3)

Posted by ghostlizard on November 2, 2011
Posted in: Income Inequality, Occupy Movement. Tagged: occupy movement. Leave a comment

I just finished reading this book.  The author took a series of low-wage jobs and attempted to live on her earnings from that work alone. It was published on the tail end of the Clinton Era of extended prosperity. Welfare Reform was instituted in 1996 with the expectation that getting the poorest Americans working at any job at all would lift them out of poverty. The author was trying to learn how the post-welfare poor were faring. The following excerpt  ends with an eerily prescient insight into part of what is now called the “Occupy Movement.” Now that much of the Middle Class is either unemployed or part of the Working Poor – now that many of them need to apply for welfare themselves – the anger the author envisioned is beginning to surface. The following is from her books’ final paragraphs:                                                                                                                                                                                                                              “When poor single mothers had the option of remaining out of the labor force on welfare, the middle and upper middle class tended to view them with a certain impatience, if not disgust. The welfare poor were excoriated for their laziness, their persistence in reproducing in unfavorable circumstances, their presumed addictions, and above all for their “dependency.” Here they were, content to live off “government handouts” instead of seeking “self – sufficiency,” like everyone else, through a job. They needed to get their act together, learn how to wind an alarm clock, get out there and get to work. But now that government has largely withdrawn its “handouts,” now that the overwhelming majority of the poor are out there toiling at Wal-Mart or Wendy’s – well, what are we to think of them? Disapproval and condescension no longer apply, so what outlook makes  sense? // Guilt, you may be thinking warily. Isn’t that what we’re supposed to feel? But guilt doesn’t go anywhere near far enough; the appropriate emotion is shame – shame at our own dependency, in this case, on the underpaid labor of others. When someone works for less pay than she can live on – when, for example, she goes hungry so that you can eat more cheaply and conveniently – then she has made a great sacrifice for you, she has made you a gift of some part of her abilities, her health, and her life. The “working poor,” as they are approvingly termed, are in fact the major philanthropists of our society. They neglect their own children so that the children of others will be cared for; they live in substandard housing so that other homes will be shiny and perfect; they endure privation so that inflation will be low and stock prices high. To be a member of the working poor is to be an anonymous donor, a nameless benefactor, to everyone else. As one of my restaurant coworkers put it, “you give and you give.” // Someday, of course – and I will make no predictions as to exactly when – they are bound to tire of getting so little in return and to demand to be paid what they’re worth. There’ll be a lot of anger when that day comes, and strikes and disruption. But  the sky will not fall, and we will all be better for it in the end.”           From  “Nickel and Dimed ,”   Copyright 2001  by Barbara Ehrenreich                   This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution By license.

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what it’s like…

Posted by ghostlizard on October 31, 2011
Posted in: Income Inequality, Poverty. Tagged: Poverty. Leave a comment

I have a friend who perceives herself to be going through a very rough time. She has had numerous disasters in her new apartment (which began the day she moved in). Her possessions were ruined by bad plumbing, the A/C broke (and we live in South Florida- where it’s basically still summertime), and one of her roommates moved out. We both live on disability checks, but hers is SSDI and mine is SSI (night and day, money-wise). We both hope to go back to work someday, and we’re both being helped in that direction by Vocational Rehabilitation (a Federal program that began after WWI- in 1918 or so- and helps the disabled to get re-trained for the day when their disability eases and they can rejoin the workforce). I do feel for her; she’s a good person.However, it’s hard to know what to say when she complains about all this. I know all the usual platitudes: “Things will improve soon; don’t worry, you’ll be fine; everything is going to be okay,” but I don’t want to lie to her. People have said those things to me and, although they meant well, they were wrong. In reality I ended up homeless and jobless and sick and hungry. In other words: everything was not okay. To this day (many years later) everything is not okay. Once the fiscal rug is pulled out from under you and you have zero dollars and zero cents, if you don’t have family or close friends around nothing is okay. It is possible to pull oneself up by one’s bootstraps, but only if you still have boots. So I wish I had her problems instead of mine, but I can’t say that. I also don’t want to tell her the truth, because if you tell friends your financial problems they invariably assume that you’re asking them for money,  and Americans are taught to never ask anyone for money or anything else. We are taught to mask our failures with a sincere-seeming smile (it’s even called “putting the best face on it”sometimes). We are taught that anyone in America who is willing to work hard will succeed, and that’s a lie. We are taught that poverty is a choice people make, that the homeless want to live that way, and that the poor are bad people because God always favors good people and blesses them with everything they need. All of those are lies. Sometimes terrible things happen to wonderful people (and she is a wonderful person).  Sometimes hard work leads nowhere. Sometimes (some would say all the time) God is silent no matter how hard you pray. In these times only society as a whole can help, and it takes much more than a village: it takes a nation. I want to tell myself all those reassuring things I tell my beleaguered friends, but I don’t want to lie anymore.                           Update: Above-referenced friend moving 50 miles away for cheaper apartment; great idea…if you have a car. It’s all relative, I suppose: opportunity knocks harder (and more frequently) on the pricier doors.                                                                                                                                                               This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution By license.

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impetus for the occupation (pt.2)

Posted by ghostlizard on October 26, 2011
Posted in: Income Inequality, Occupy Movement, Poverty. Tagged: occupy movement. Leave a comment

:(…but don’t cry: ACT, if you can! Read more here: http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=income%2Binequality%2Bin%2BUS&source=web&cd=6&ved=0CGUQFjAF&url=http%3A%2F%2Fthinkprogress.org%2Fpolitics%2F2011%2F05%2F04%2F163476%2Fus-unequal-uganda-pakistan%2F&ei=hhGoTs38JIuutweyhp0c&usg=AFQjCNHYaypXP1VWHHvyj_6BFMgYOgPvXAF   For a brand-new look at the plight of the American Jobless Class: http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2011/10/26/us/toll-of-unemployment-poll.html       This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution By license.

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impetus for the occupation (pt. 1)

Posted by ghostlizard on October 17, 2011
Posted in: Income Inequality, Occupy Movement. Tagged: occupy movement. Leave a comment


The ‘deficit crisis’ has led to a call for everything from dismantling Social Security to returning America to the more equitable tax code it had thirty years ago. Those who want to balance the budget on the humps of the middle-class, the working class, the poor, the disabled, and the elderly by drastically cutting spending (offsetting much of the savings with tax cuts to corporations and the wealthiest Americans, of course) actually want to cut their own taxes while eliminating all government spending on anyone other than themselves and their companies. No one in government so far has suggested drastically increasing revenues IN ANY WAY – especially not by drastically increasing taxes on corporations and the wealthy. Either way, the ‘deficit crisis’ is a manufactured one. Let’s do the math: the US GDP (the amount of wealth it produces every year) is (according to the CBS Evening News, 10/27/2011) $13.3 trillion dollars… that’s $13,300,000,000,000. The current total deficit is estimated at $14.88  trillion dollars ( by usdebtclock.org , as of 10/27/2011). That sounds like a lot – it’s  118.8% of annual GDP! These numbers are often followed in political speeches by some version of the following:”Every American household faces tough budgetary choices when they’re in great debt…every small business has to do the same”. Okay, let’s say an American household has a combined gross income (the amount of wealth it creates every year) of $100,000/year. If that household owes $120,000 on its’ mortgage is that a crisis? Should said household stop paying their kids’ tuition (as America has done by slashing Education)? Should they feed them less food ( cutting Food Stamps), move them to a less-safe neighborhood (firing police officers, deputies, and firefighters), and delay for years important repairs to the house itself (slashing funding for infrastructure improvements and repairs, and allowing public schools, hospitals, roads, bridges, etc. to crumble indefinitely)? The US is experiencing the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression, a recession far worse than the official numbers indicate, as any working American will tell you, yet somehow the incomes of the wealthy and the profits of corporations continue to climb – unabated by the need and desperation of the workers and consumers that actually create the wealth of this nation in the first place. A family that takes in 13 trillion dollars a year and owes 15 trillion dollars -more or less- is not overburdened with debt. The majority of American homeowners owe MANY TIMES their annual income. The national household is not experiencing a debt crisis; it is experiencing the results of a decades-long effort by the wealthy and powerful few to share less and less of America’s riches with the humble and powerless many. The true deficit in our country is one of compassion, not cash.                                                                                 This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution By license.

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had a bad day…

Posted by ghostlizard on October 14, 2011
Posted in: Bipolar Disorder. Tagged: Depression. Leave a comment

                                                                                                                                                                 Some days the world just doesn’t seem to offer anything worth living for, let alone striving for. My companion has been hostile all day, from the moment I awoke. My medications seem to be taking the day off… nothing’s helping. A pall has fallen over me; I wish for nothing but an end to this terrible feeling of hopelessness and pain, and I don’t think I’ll get it today. Right now it feels many universes away, as though it were waiting for me to take a trip no one can return from. I am not waiting for anything (rumours to the contrary notwithstanding): I expect to get what I’ve always gotten – nothing, and I’m sure I won’t be disappointed. Failure never fails, and this sadness never pales. On that I can rely. Nothing more.                                                                          This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution By license.

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“Success does not come to you…

Posted by ghostlizard on October 11, 2011
Posted in: Uncategorized. Leave a comment

…you go to it.” That’s what the sign down the street says but, unfortunately, the sign doesn’t give its’ address.                                                                                                                                                        This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution By license.

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“all of the time"

Posted by ghostlizard on October 6, 2011
Posted in: Bipolar Disorder. Tagged: Bipolar Disorder. Leave a comment

                                                                                                                                                                     I feel much better now, thank you. The anxiety pills helped a lot.                           It occurred to me recently that the only way to keep a private journal is to write it on paper, longhand. Nobody reads anything on paper anymore – everything is  e-this and e-that.  I remember at one time having to very carefully choose where and when to write in one of my notebooks, and where to keep them. I used to actually write things in those old notebooks just to see if anyone else was reading them without permission, invading my privacy. It turns out that there are things you can write about (usually salacious in nature) that people will respond to by literally repeating your own words back to you. And it’s odd because I was taught that the old saying was true: “You can fool some of the people all of the time, and  you can fool all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time”( attributed variously to Abraham Lincoln and, strangely, P.T. Barnum). As it turns out you absolutely can fool all of the people all of the time, if you know the rules. Firstly, your tall tale has to be about yourself. Secondly, it must be something negative or embarrassing… a sort of false confession, one might say. If you write something (literally almost ANYTHING, oddly enough) in a notebook that follows these two simple rules you absolutely can fool (virtually) all of the people all of the time. At first I found it hilarious . People literally cannot help themselves. They simply must give themselves away, not just privately to others (“You won’t believe what I found out about so-and-so!”) but right in front of you, or at least within earshot. It takes a little thought to decide what exactly to write. You have to be very careful, because no matter how ridiculous it may seem, there are those who will always believe it, even after  you tell them  it’s false. So what do you write if you really need to know if someone is reading your diary? Well, the obvious gossip-ready  choices are sex and violence. Let’s get the violence out-of-the-way first. Although it may sound as though it would be satisfying to have your nosy sibling, parent or ‘friend’ believe that you’re planning something to make Columbine look like a pleasant picnic by comparison, if you think about it, just writing something like that DOWN could get you into trouble. Remember, whatever it is – however crazy it may seem – some will always believe it even after you tell them it’s bull, so one has to be careful. Okay, let’s move on to sex. What can you write on that topic that all who read will feel compelled to tell? Unless you’re twelve, intercourse itself no longer shocks ( and to really know the truth, shock you must ) anyone…oral, anal, gay, straight…who cares, right? After running through fetishes (some of which are quite funny if you think about them: what’s the foot thing all about, anyway?),  you may come to the point where you need to double down- so to speak. What if you mixed sex AND violence…whaddaya get? Well, you definitely don’t want anyone believing you’re a closet rapist or sadist of any kind . What’s left? S&M – S = M, right? No one is afraid of masochists, but simple whips and chains are far too pedestrian to evoke the telling response to your fake work that you seek. So you say that your secret fantasy is to be abducted, beaten, raped, tortured… you get the idea. Well, it works. Unfortunately it works TOO well. I would not recommend it to anyone anymore (especially not to a female journal-keeper) now that I know how many real creeps there are out there. A lot of people (men, mostly) apparently would love nothing more than a willing victim – an excuse to hurt someone, basically. I’ve been severely injured at times by these folks. How this at-first hilarious attempt to safeguard my privacy led to that  I can’t say. A ‘friend’ actually asked me once if he could punch me in the face and reenact his favorite prison shower scene. It’s funny NOW, at some remove, but it was very scary then. I’m not exactly a physically imposing guy and have no idea how to defend myself . And I must stress that nothing like that ever happened to me before I started writing phony journal entries and leaving my notebooks  lying around. Could it all be an extremely long series of  coincidences? Well…”if you buy that, I’ve got a bridge for you.” (REM) Anyway, I’ve written a short story based on those experiences, so I guess something good (I think) did come of it, in the end. I’m just glad it’s over now (I think).                                                               This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution By license.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution By license.

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in which the depression returns…

Posted by ghostlizard on September 27, 2011
Posted in: Bipolar Disorder. Tagged: Bipolar Disorder. Leave a comment

Lately I’ve been trying to figure out why I’ve felt sad for the last fortnight. I thought I just needed to get laid, but that doesn’t seem to help either. The only big change has been the Remeron, so I’ve decided to stop taking it. My mind keeps trying to attach this new sadness to something or someone…to explain it, but it doesn’t seem to be connected to anything or anyone in my life. It’s just a free-floating sort of anguish, a.k.a. depression. Sure, my life still sucks in a lot of ways (no money, no car, no real love in my life, and not nearly enough sex, just to name a few) but that’s been true for some time now, and this new low is only a couple of weeks old. Hopefully this latest change in my medications will help, but my economic circumstances aren’t going to change any time soon, and it’s hard to make new friends when you’re poor. I think that’s a major part of it: the combination of poverty and the isolation it almost requires of one. I mean, it’s hard just to be sociable when the stress of  being broke NEVER goes away. At least the Humira seems to be helping to  improve my health, but it’s almost impossible for me to eat properly on my budget, so the Crohn’s symptoms never completely go away either. That adds to my difficulty in maintaining a positive outlook, and depressed poor people aren’t exactly in demand, socially. Anyway, however frequent the thoughts of death become, I know it’s not real: it’s just chemistry.                                                 This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution By license.

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September 12th

Posted by ghostlizard on September 12, 2011
Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: September 11th. Leave a comment

As anyone not living under a huge moon rock knows, yesterday was the tenth anniversary of September 11th, 2001. As is my annual tradition on that day, I avoided all media like the (future, genetically engineered ) plague. Alex and I went to the beach, where we found hundreds of other Americans also eluding  the trauma of memory.  The Atlantic was warm and inviting, and not nearly as blue as I’d have been sitting in front of the television all day. Floating there, belly up like a dying  fish, rocking gently with the waves,  I saw the unblemished sky and almost forgot the date. Unfortunately, tragedy recalled sometimes intrudes on reverie. The planes in the sky kept drawing my eyes like an unbidden and unwanted guest, a guest who – a decade later –  long ago over-stayed its’ welcome. I sought aggressive distractions. I lingered over the beauty all around me: the perfect arc of a grey and white seagull’s graceful flight; the sounds of the cresting, watery bulges introducing themselves forcefully to the solid and sandy shore; the simple, unfettered laughter of happy children at play. Parrots cawed loudly in the trees as palms swayed  in the sea’s insistent breezes. The fishermen on the pier paid no notice to the jets overhead, staring expectantly instead at the ends of their lines. Volleyball was played, barbecued meats were enjoyed, and shapely figures were admired. Still, the calendar is not the only indicator of the date. The sunlight, the air, and the water (among other things) are all specifically different in late summer – no less in Florida than anywhere else – and all are particular to this day (though perhaps slightly changed each year) and connected in my thoughts with horror,  loss and suffering. The association of great tragedies with the environment in which we each experience them serves a purpose, of course. Our evolution has endowed us with a terribly precise and unconscious mechanism by which fear and terror are stored indefinitely, to be recalled automatically when similar conditions are present. We can’t refresh the amygdala’s page, even when time has made its’ content less relevant (or necessary). The deep sadness returns each year on that date, even long after the threat  has subsided. Grief can’t be bargained with: it refuses to negotiate. The loss of a loved one is irrevocably tied to the date we ascribe to it (ask anyone who has experienced such a loss on any major holiday and they’ll tell you that the meaning of that day is forever changed), and ignoring the calendar or the media or even a family get-together won’t erase the (healthy) memory’s tape. So it is that I found myself shedding invisible tears while floating face down in the ocean on September 11th, 2011. No one seemed to notice, and for that I am grateful.                                                                           This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution By license.

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sickness follows…

Posted by ghostlizard on August 31, 2011
Posted in: Crohn's Disease. Tagged: Crohn's Disease. Leave a comment

When I was 19 I was diagnosed with Inflammatory Bowel Disease – specifically: Ulcerative Colitis. I was prescribed Prednisone, which is basically Cortisone. I gained 30 pounds in 3 months, and my mood changed drastically from moment to moment. My once-prominent cheekbones became almost invisible under my newly rounded face. My legs fattened so fast that I developed stretch marks, but I stayed on Prednisone for a year and then tapered my dose down to almost nothing because of the awful side effects. My symptoms returned; I had constant diarrhea, urgent and excruciating bowel movements, and lost control of  them completely. Humiliating accidents became commonplace, and my college years were unproductive although unusually extended (I was in and out of three different schools for about ten years, trying to work at the same time and always becoming too ill just when I needed health most). Abdominal pain became a constant companion, so much so that I stopped complaining about it because even my own father said it was “pushing him away.” I treated it mostly with cannabinoids and Imodium, although I must admit that wasn’t the only thing I used cannabinoids for, and I definitely inhaled. I had no health insurance, so doctor visits were sporadic, as were my social, academic, and financial lives. My father helped me pay rent and some expenses until I was 29, which was incredibly generous, but at that point I had deteriorated both physically and mentally ( I had yet to be diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, and treatments for it were still rudimentary anyway since SSRI‘s were  relatively new – I think Prozac was just being released ). My father decided that my real problem was my dependence on him for financial support, so he  ended it ( it seemed rather sudden to me at the time)  and my eligibility for student aid ended ( I had reached the maximum amount of student loans, then $45,000)  not much later. I was escorted out of my dormitory room by Loyola University Police. I stayed with friends for just a few days, and then my father sent me  $40…enough  for a night in a fleabag motel room in downtown New Orleans.  I signed up at a labor pool because I had to pay for the next night by the end of that day. For the next ten years I had no health insurance, no steady full-time position, and no prospects. My Ulcerative Colitis worsened (for obvious reasons), and my diagnosis was updated to Crohn’s Disease. I was hospitalized for the first time, and received some medical care through a homeless assistance program. I was found to be severely Bipolar and placed on medications for that as well. I got better, found a full-time position with benefits and began treatment with Remicade – which allowed me an extended remission period of about ten months. I gained 62 pounds, and didn’t look like a concentration camp survivor anymore. Then I lost my job and with it my health insurance. The program that had helped me get healthy and ended my homelessness was cut, and I ended up being hospitalized literally dozens of times over the next four years. After finally being admitted to a shelter I met a Legal Aid lawyer named Sandra Parker. Over the course of a year she helped me navigate the byzantine and adversarial process of applying for the meager government subsidies available in Florida (and then only because they are federally mandated) to someone with a disabling impairment: SSI ($674/month), Medicaid, and Food Stamps($200/month). I found a studio apartment in Pompano Beach for $625/month. The energy bill is between $70 and $100/month. I received retroactive benefits which covered the difference for a while and paid the $500 rent deposit and $200 electric deposit. If it wasn’t for my roommate’s  help with the utilities I wouldn’t have made it this long. He also runs errands for me when I’m too ill to ‘run’ and does pretty much everything I can’t do during a flare-up. I’m constantly in fear of being sick and alone again, as we both have stressors that we can’t control.  When the Food Stamps run out every month our diet becomes mostly the cheapest fast food available supplemented with hot dogs and frozen burritos. That’s why I woke up sick as an unhealthy dog this morning, and spent the first three hours of my day in the john. And that’s why all this crap came to mind (pun definitely intended). Sorry for all the whining lately. Didn’t mean to bore you, but you’re the only one who’ll listen.         This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution By license.

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Warning: author is an unreliable narrator.

Posted by ghostlizard on August 22, 2011
Posted in: Bipolar Disorder. Tagged: Bipolar Disorder. Leave a comment

                                                                                                                                                              Okay, let’s see. What’d I do today? Hmm… mostly household chores. Laundry, sweeping, mopping, taking an IBD break in the john. Shopping for Mighty Dog and Hot Pockets ( what? they were on sale for Christ’s sake!). Hmm…. the usual scanning of the national newspapers of my choice (New York Times, LA Times, Washington Post) and of the local one (Sun-Sentinel) interspersed with the reading of the customary selected articles. E-mail. Had to order a refill of Humira by phone (which is just as tedious and time-consuming as possible, considering the laws of physics in this universe). A little NPR, a little Miles Davis. I left out the obvious: showering, shaving, making and drinking of tea (with sugar and milk, please), walking and feeding the dog, going to the bathroom (several times), wallowing in tear-drenched despair over health and financial issues… you know, the stuff everyone does (or, at least,  everyone who’s unemployed, which these days is the same thing).  And that was Monday, August 22nd, 2011 for me and Ratface (the dog).                                                                    This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution By license.

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On A.L.E.C. and the End of Democracy

Posted by ghostlizard on June 24, 2013
Posted in: Corruption, Corruption in Washington, Income Inequality, Occupy Movement, Uncategorized. Leave a comment

 

Free Money Collection in Cash

Free Money Collection in Cash (Photo credit: epSos.de)

Democracy (video game)

Democracy (video game) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hosts Week

Hosts Week (Photo credit: The HUB Network)

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Back into Hell…without Meatloaf

Posted by ghostlizard on June 26, 2012
Posted in: Bipolar Disorder, depression, suicide. Leave a comment

My analyst says the maximum efficacious dose of the antidepressant Pristiq is only 100 mg., so she added back Wellbutrin, but I still feel depressed enough to feel, want, and do absolutely nothing.  Stare and think, but not write.

But at least the electric is still on. That’s all I can hold on to.

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Posted by ghostlizard on June 9, 2012
Posted in: Uncategorized. Leave a comment

An Unreliable Narrator

The last six months have been one crisis after another, none of which are over yet. I live day to day and hand to mouth to bowl (toilet, that is) pretty much. The lights are only on until the 18th and I have no prospective income to pay the bill. My severely mentally disabled roommate is of great moral support, a valuable commodity I have yet to be able to use as legal tender, unfortunately.

But, somehow, in my head things are looking up. I just know the money will come (and of course it probably won’t) and that I’ll be able to find a place for the two of us that includes utilities and  I can afford on SSI in time. That deadline is July 1st. Is it only the medication? Is it the beginnings of a manic episode? Stay tuned. I’ll take pictures for you, wherever appropriately…

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